Just to be a smartass and to be a proper label helper, our boy Martin set about doing his own top 10 list for the year. Probably on company time too. That son of a bitch. Bear with him...
CONDOMINIUM - Carl 7" - Sub Pop
-They let me have a list so in an act of sheer diplomacy (which is something you Yanks know nothing about!) I'll spit all the things we listened to in the office that they didn't put in their stupid list. Yes, FRAMTID rules and UNA BESTIA is the best(ia) blah blah blah. Since I'm new to this jingo I went with a load of domestics and only a coupla overseas slabs. I assume Carl is one of CONDO's friends with a big attitude and slighty bigger codpiece. Smooth move putting the titular track on the flip side too. These blokes came through a while back and just leveled the room. Wot a band! Birmy's got nothing like this. Cheers cunts.
ZATSUON - Violent Noiz Life 7" - Distort Reality
-Jake used to play in a non-fashionable group called NERVESKADE that was one of my favorite ILR releases from a couple years back. ZATSUON as far as I'm told is PERDITION people and Jake doing what PERD-people and Jake do best. And that is go apey and make ferocious maximum energy noize-not-music. This banga is fucking mental. Cheers cunts.
NUDES - Sister 7" - Inimical
-Seattle's stage pissing creeper scums recorded their nasty on the outskirts of civilisation. And brother, it is a mere representation of NUDES' live show. That is what really earnt them the spot on this list. Incredible group. The overlords tell me there is a 7" doing ILR soonish. Cheers cunts.
NOMAD - Kill Yourself LP - Toxic State
-Some more of that noizy shoestring headband silliness but ripped out and herniated beyond the norm. I imagine their shows are a sight to see. Especially the ones around ground zero... I mean Freedom Plaza, twat. A circle spank of wild mohicans sniffing glue and cutting rugs. I like that visual. We will see them soon and jerk out... Cheers cunts.
PERSPEX FLESH - Heavy Steps 7" - Video Disease
-Leeds has it's bricks and it's WHO/HERESY live albums but it also has PERSPEX FLESH. A gloved tough punk concoction with the willingness to go beyond the acceptable. Had a chance to catch this act before I moved and it was top notch entertainment. Better than most of the other swill that makes the circuit. I do sense a bit of cheese so they'd best be careful with future moves. Cheers cunts. (-editor's note: The cheese has not been sensed)
REPLICA - Strings 7" - Prank
-Ladies of colour and the hirsute male machine make strange thrashy jigs. Up with people. Get free. Not to be missed in the live arena. Cheers cunts.
INNUMERABLE FORMS/BLESSED OFFAL - Split LP - Hell Militia
-It doesn't take much wit to get that FORMS are the real destroyer sound. Brutish manhood and stylish massive. This is the other best death metal band alive. I'm not just saying that to get points with Jensen (since he plays guitar in the band but I do think he didn't include this record on their list because of his involvement even though he didn't actually play on this recording, wotever, who cares?) but I could use some points as I seem to always be on their shitlist for some bloody reason. I do the best I can. Sometimes I forget to put things in the cartons. Sometimes I stay home and listen to INNUMERABLE FORMS instead of going in to work. Cheers cunts.
GLAM - Veneno En Sus Flechas 12" - La Vida Es Un Mus
-I imagine these boys to be very attractive and adept at drawing the sexy types. They make foot lickin' fuck punk. Or at least that's wot I do to it. Cheers cunts.